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Sunday, July 19, 2020

On Parenting: Do we have to spank?

Once upon a time, on my attempt to preserve my passion to write, I've forced myself to read numbers of reading. Either it is on the net, or it is on papers. Got pieces from my hubby who, this made me envy at him, fortunately has an opportunity to participate in a workshop for writing (well, I will share my feeling about this, I promise!^-^). While, stuttering those pieces on how to manage my time to read all of them, I happened to grab one which hit in my eyes.

This piece is about spanking, or let me say, topics about child abuse, I guess. Kinda shock, frankly speaking. As it is an issue that many people prefer not to discuss. It tells about the reality happens in many American houses where parents becoming hopeless toward their children upbringing. Many kids have lost their respects to parents nowadays. So then the writer put his statements that spanking is as acceptable and sometimes necessary form of disciplining a child.While, ironically circa 1990's to 2000, parents were quite insisting on fitting their children to be their BFF.

Correct me if I'm wrong, this also have happened in Indonesia these decades, right?

I can witness and confess that we are eager and anxious enough to comfort our children. Consciously or unconsciously,we stretch the path to their future, lead them, serve them, protect them. Without knowing to realize that they have little, if not at all, respects to their parents.

To some degree,  we are loosing attempts to make our children to be discipline somehow. Not to mention the working parents who surrender to the so called quality time; it should be peaceful, should be still, no arguments, no battle. Peace and ease at home. And this might be a standard operation to many households.

Luckily, we are familiar to and yet live in  Eastern cultures (part of religions, as well) where respecting parents are one of the many duties a child need to bear on. At one thing, living in a culture like this can benefit our modes of parenting. Obey parents' instructions, being polite to the elderly especially our mother, no offense words, are ones of the many "rules" addressed to so-called Eastern people (well, this term is also questionable) without any reserved whatsoever.

When I was a kid, I sincerely follow these rules. Follow the rules, then the rewards are in the Hereafter; Paradise.As simple as that. With no exception and arguments, kids in those time had had unspoken consensus.A way too far to what happened nowadays. Kids recently are mostly winning the battle of debate. Their arguments are sophisticated. Full of assumption and logical. At least, to my experience. Haha..

Thus, what parents do when they are within that kind of situation? Some are following the flow. Some are building their wall of protection. Arguing their children is one way to show their power and at the same time a proof that parents are more experienced than these little people. But for me, our children are and should be our responsibility to The Creator, our living and closest friends to chat about many things, our urgent person to contact, our reminders gently or not concerning some things, our support system, our big helpers and many more. You see, if we put our shoes on theirs and understand their position, especially their day to day experience, we will witness our relationship grow stronger and stronger each and every day. Our bonding is not merely the blood but also spiritual, social and even critical thoughts on many issues. 

Those are my opinions. I don't know your thoughts. Have any? Please comment on the box..